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Thread: Funny News

  1. #26
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    Click here to enlarge Originally Posted by Sticky Click here to enlarge
    Click here to enlarge
    good one from another thread

  2. #27
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    i didn't know a few of these

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  4. #29
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    1 out of 1 members liked this post. Yes Reputation No
    video that has the 911 audio of this here
    or you can listen to them from the links below

    Lastreasa Goodman Called 911 To Complain After A Florida McDonalds Ran Out Of Chicken McNuggets

    Click here to enlarge

    Click thumbnail to read Police report
    Click here to enlarge

    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 1
    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 2
    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 3

  5. #30
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    Man Attempts To Amputate Own Arm In Denny's

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    Modesto police say a local man who tried to cut off his own arm at a Denny's restaurant thought he had injected air into one of his veins while shooting cocaine and would die unless he took drastic action.

    The man, identified by police as Michael Lasiter, 33, rushed into the restaurant on Friday night and started stabbing himself in the right arm with a butter knife he grabbed from a customer's table, police say. When that knife didn't work, Lasiter allegedly took a butcher knife from the kitchen and dug it into his arm.

    Lasiter, who was subdued with a taser and taken to a local hospital with severe cuts, told officers he thought he needed to amputate his arm to keep himself from dying from the cocaine injection, says Modesto police Sgt. Brian Findlen.

    The Denny's closed for the night after the incident.

    orig. article
    http://cbs13.com/local/dennys.amputa....2.807272.html

  6. #31
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    Man using drive-through at bank deposits $200 and small bag with pot and cocaine, police say
    By Associated Press


    TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) ? Authorities said a man using the drive-through at a Tallahassee bank deposited $200 and a small bag containing marijuana and cocaine. Police said an employee at the Wachovia Bank called police Wednesday after the unusual deposit. An officer arrested a 38-year-old man and found the remnants of three marijuana cigarettes inside his vehicle.

    The man was charged with drug possession and later released on $3,000 bail.

    It's not clear why the man included the drugs with his deposit.

  7. #32
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    Suspect in bank robbery leaves wallet, cell phone


    By Associated Press
    July 4, 2009


    FREDERICK - Ever get that sinking feeling when you realize you've lost your cell phone? That's what happened to Carlos Williams - after he allegedly robbed a bank.

    Police say Williams left two huge clues at the scene of a bank robbery in Frederick in May - his cell phone and his wallet. The items were sitting on the bank counter.

    The wallet led to an address near Alexandria, Va., but Williams was able to elude capture. And he was apparently undeterred by his mistake. Police say he committed a similar robbery Tuesday at a bank in Libertytown. Williams, 28, and his girlfriend, Denise Smith, 37, were arrested Thursday in District Heights, where they live. Police recovered a BB gun used in the robberies and some of the cash.


    http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/education/bal-md.dumbcrook04jul04,0,1636391.story"]http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/education/bal-md.dumbcrook04jul04,0,1636391.story
    Last edited by e92; 07-08-2010 at 03:31 PM.

  8. #33
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    Call in the Bomb Squad... er, nevermind.

    Click here to enlarge

    Name: Steven Ferrini
    Gender: Male
    State: CA

    Alleged Crime:
    Investigators became concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a concealed explosive device. A search turned up "a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket. [H]The wire was found to extend from the pant pocket to the subject's anus. [/H]He claimed that the wire was connected to an anal vibrator, officers became suspicious when he subsequently "began to explain his knowledge of explosives and bomb making." The bomb squad "rendered the device safe" and determined it was not dangerous.




    It was also later found that Ferrini often posts on internet forums under the moniker "Sexylion" or "Tobias Funke". :p Click here to enlarge

  9. #34
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    lmao these are hilarious!

    "Get 50% off or half price!"

  10. #35
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    Click here to enlarge Originally Posted by e92 Click here to enlarge
    video that has the 911 audio of this here
    or you can listen to them from the links below

    Lastreasa Goodman Called 911 To Complain After A Florida McDonalds Ran Out Of Chicken McNuggets

    Click here to enlarge

    Click thumbnail to read Police report
    Click here to enlarge

    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 1
    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 2
    Goodman McNugget Mayhem audio 3
    HAHAha, too bad the video is gone but this is amazing.
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  11. #36
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    Prank leaves Justin Bieber facing tour of North Korea

    Click here to enlarge

    Justin Bieber's Twitter page has become the target of an internet joke.

    A public vote on the Canadian singer's My World Tour page asked users which country he should tour next, with no restrictions on the nations that could be voted on.

    This spurred users of imageboard website 4Chan to nominate North Korea, with the vote now turning viral.

    There are now almost half a million votes to send Bieber to the secretive communist nation.

    The contest, which ends at 1800 on 7 July, saw North Korea move from 24th to 1st place in less than two days, several thousand votes ahead of Israel.

    Given the fact that almost all citizens of North Korea are denied internet access and there are restrictive controls over all media, it is unlikely that any of the votes have actually come from within the country.

    A spokesman for the North Korean Embassy in London told BBC News that any application for 16-year-old Bieber to tour would be dealt with by its mission to the United Nations, although the matter would be referred to Pyongyang.

    Hate campaign

    Justin Bieber has been target of a number of internet pranks in recent weeks.

    Last month, a post on 4Chan urged users to all search for the term "Justin Bieber Syphilis" pushing it to the top of Google Trend's Hot Searches list.

    Click here to enlarge
    It is not known if Kim Jong-il is a fan of Justin Bieber's music

    And over the weekend, Justin Bieber videos on YouTube were the target for internet hackers, redirecting users to adult websites or triggering pop-up messages saying that the Canadian singer had died in a car crash.

    Google temporarily suspended commenting on videos and issued a statement saying: "We took swift action to fix a cross-site scripting (XSS) vulnerability." The vulnerability hole was patched a few hours later.

    His Last FM page was also hit, with photos of the singer replaced by pornographic images.

    There have also been false rumours circulating that Bieber had died, that he had joined a cult, and that his mother was offered $50,000 to pose topless in Playboy magazine.

    "Let's take some time to answer some crazy (rumours)... I'm not dead," Bieber wrote in just one of his Twitter postings.

    And last week he posted that "My mum is a moral woman... let's just leave that one for what it is... because that rumour just grossed and weirded me out."


    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/10506482.stm

  12. #37
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  13. #38
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    The Candwich could have changed the world. With $145 million in potential funding, it was poised to be the Coca Cola of the sandwich-enclosed-in-aluminum market. But things went awry, as the money was never meant for candwiches at all.

    According to an SEC lawsuit, Travis L. Wright raised $145 million from 175 investors between 2001 and 2009. Their investment? Commercial real estate with a promised 24% return.

    He spent $6 million on the real estate.

    With an undisclosed amount of the remaining cash, Wright invested in a variety of other projects, like rose petals printed with greeting card sentiments and even the next canned food craze: Candwiches. Yes, sandwiches in a can, including planned spin-off flavors like Pepperoni Pizza Pocket and French Toast.

    Wright also spent about $15 million on himself, purchasing a home from a pro basketball player, paving the driveway in cobblestones from France. But I like to imagine that all the fancy housing was just for his family, a family for whom he stole millions in compensation of the simple truth that his only true love could and would always be the Candwich.

  14. #39
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  16. #41
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    ^ haha. All that needed was a pimpslap
    Click here to enlarge

  17. #42
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    Surprised he didn't ask for $3.50.
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    He got chain checked...like a $#@!...

    He said, "I get that a lot".... Click here to enlarge

  19. #44
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    Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/app...st-loyal,2772/
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  20. #45
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    1 out of 1 members liked this post. Yes Reputation No

    Shahsk is going to hate me for this. he already told me not to post it.

    Click here to enlarge

  21. #46
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    ^ About time..... Click here to enlarge

  22. #47
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    1 out of 1 members liked this post. Yes Reputation No
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    A 23-year-old New Jersey woman admitted to lying that she had been carjacked and revealed that her car was crashed because she was performing oral sex on a man.

    According to reports, Sara Blasse filed a false report that she was carjacked at gunpoint after she asked a man for directions. She says the man brandished a gun,

    pulled her out of the vehicle and took off with the car. She even told how she suffered a broken arm and head injuries during the incident

    But after further questioning by the police, Blasse?s story changed. She admitted that she actually picked up an unknown man and moved to the passenger seat where she

    performed oral sex on him when he crashed the car into a tree.

    Blasse covered up the crash by setting fire to her Kia Sorento.

  24. #49
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    ^ HAHahha, holy $#@!.
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