09-15-2014, 09:46 PM
This is the funiest thread I've seen in a long time.
Some moderator on E46fanatics creates a thread saying:
I have no idea what he was expecting but of course no one takes him seriously and he ends up banning a guy. HILARIOUS!
pics or gtfo.
Posts pic of friend:
Damn, dawg. Looks like she loves food. Can she at least cook? You're going to need another fridge for her groceries.
Damn, dawg. Looks like she loves food. Can she at least cook? You're going to need another garage for her to sleep..
Damn, dawg. Looks like she loves food. Can she at least cook? You're going to need deep freezer and a 3 quarter cow.
Anyways OP can't put his pants on and says his wife is great and all... more comments.
Easy answer, divorce this biatch... You're the man, start acting like it.
It is going to cost you more than $200 out of your pocket to have that gal living with you:
-Missing groceries (entire shelves from the pantry)
-AC cranked at 60 degrees will cost you more
-Increased electricity cost from the stove, oven, and deep fryer always being in use 24/7
-Showers - well, that is like washing a car or irrigating the lawn so skyrocketed water bills
Chubby fingers make for some great handjobs.
Especially when covered in fried chicken grease
OP then tries to reason with his wife using suggestions from other posters like getting a seperate fridge for her...
And at this point it is clear for everyone that those 2 are not the brightest bulbs...
Then OP says this:
Originally Posted by choxor
Just hope she doesn't get knocked up while staying with you.
Now I had deleted this in my comment, I didnt want to come out as some sort of racist as I am not.
But she dates multiple black men(maybe one at a time at one point?) But Only black men.
Now...I dont..even..know..how to go about saying this..but I do not want random multiple (any race) of men in my house.
Especially promiscuous?.. Um strangers who she wants to do things at my house with.
I raised this with my wife, and she says she wont do that...yeahhhhh right
careful you're gonna get robbed. or you will gain another roommate when the guy she is fvcking starts sleeping in her bed.
People are really fucking with the OP but he takes it all seriously...
OP says this: I have told espy (the future roommate) to *S*T*F*U about what Ive said on FB messanger, but knowing these bit&ches, no honor.
Most honnest comment so far: I understand she is your wife, the mother of your children, and you love her a lot, but obviously shes a lunatic.
Ah well maybe this one: Charge rent by the pound.
Better invest in some steel chairs.
Orca's are getting embarrassed because people on this forum keep comparing her to them.
Then this happens...
My wife has these accelerated classes for some medical school stuff on the weekends. I had been showing my friends this thread while BBQ ing and sending out via FB messenger to my other friends and we're all laughing.
Wife comes home, a friend takes the whole family to lids, to get my son a early bday present. A Black LA hat size 6 3/4 for the kid.
The whole time she looks kind of annoyed. SO I ask her, hey whats wrong?
"we have guests, not right now"
OH SHIZZ is ringing in my head.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIZZZZ Her friend called her? Told her that I had said something...
Friends leave, night is great, we have a TERRIFIC NIGHT, &*(&(*ing TERRIFIC.
right after this TERRIFIC-NESS> RIGHT AFTER!
"You left your e46fanatics on the screen when I got home. I read EVerything"
(OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZ)
right after the TERRIFICNESS!
"Why do you lie about the king size bed, its a queen"
You didnt get her permission to post her photos like that. I want them taken down. And next time dont let people talk Shiz about me, why the hell would you do that..blah blah blah blah BLAH."
"oh honey its just for SHiz and giggle, this is a board of criticism and the biggest haters club in the world,"
I only saw like two good suggestions in there. is what she said.
SO>...............I dont really know what the heck is going to happend. The last 48 hours though has been really good.(phew)
Comments: Wife finds OT thread.
Gets upset that Mach mentioned King-sized bed when it was a Queen.
The lulz never end.
Then this freaks everyone out:
She's tied to the floor, naked, on her back, both feet, both hands, tied to makeshift posts that are connected to boards which are weighted down with metal. The hands are shot full of nails and her legs are spread as wide as possible. A pillow props her ass up and cheese, Brie, has been smeared across her open vagina, some of it even pushed up into the vaginal cavity.
I try using the power drill on her, forcing it into her mouth, but she's conscious enough, has strength, to close her teeth, clamping them down, and even though the drill goes through the teeth quickly, it fails to interest me and so I hold her head up, blood dribbling from her mouth, and make her watch the rest of the tape and while she's looking at the girl on the screen bleed from almost every possible orifice, I'm hoping she realizes that this would have happened to her no matter what. That she would have ended up lying here, on the floor in my apartment, hands nailed to posts, cheese and broken glass pushed up into her pvssy, her head cracked and bleeding purple, no matter what other choice she might have made.
I'm trying to ease one of the hollow plastic tubes from the dismantled Habitrail system up into her vagina, forcing the vaginal lips around one end of it, and even with most of it greased with olive oil, it's not fitting in properly During this, the jukebox plays Frankie Valli singing "The Worst That Could Happen" and I'm grimly lip-syncing to it, while pushing the Habitrail tube up into this bitch's cvnt. I finally have to resort to pouring acid around the outside of the pussy so that the flesh can give way to the greased end of the Habitrail and soon enough it slides in, easily. "I hope this hurts you," I say.
The rat hurls itself against the glass cage as I move it from the kitchen into the living room. It refused to eat what was left of the other rat I had bought it to play with last week, that now lies dead, rotting in a corner of the cage. (For the last five days I've purposefully starved it.) I set the glass cage down next to the girl and maybe because of the scent of the cheese the rat seems to go insane, first running in circles, mewling, then trying to heave its body, weak with hunger, over the side of the cage. The rat doesn't need prodding and the bent coat hanger I was going to use remains untouched by my side and with the girl still conscious, the thing moves effortlessly on newfound energy, racing up the tube until half of it body disappears, and then after a minute - its rat body shaking while it feeds - all of it vanishes, except for the tail, and I yank the Habitrail tube out of the girl, trapping the rodent. Soon even the tail disappears. The noises the girl is making are, for the most part, incomprehensible.
Then OP gets mad at a comment and bans the guy. Oh my.... what the fuck...